When I was younger I wanted to be a scientist, little did I know the amount of time and effort it would take. Growing up my career choices changed (frequently).. it went from a 9-5 office worker to a doctor, housewife, to a journalist to even considering a career in acting. I didn’t know and I still don’t know what I want to do. 

Th problem with me is that I don’t want a job, I want a career. Money has never been my motive, I just want to wake up every day and look forward to work in an environment where I’m happy. I wish money was my motive but it’s not, I’d rather have a job that paid me little money than have a job I hated but paid a lot of money.

All I know is that I like writing, hence why I have this blog, it’s sort of my outlet to write. I’ve tried journaling but it’s not really natural to me because when I think of journaling I think of pouring my personal feelings on to a page, which I don’t want to do. I don’t want to remember yesterday’s monotone feelings. I want to hold on to the moments of happiness and remember the “I fucking hate my life” moments.

The “I fucking hate my life’ moments are important because they are the pivotal points in life. Those moments force you to grow and persevere. So don’t neglect the “I hate my fucking life” moments – they’re important (they are probably the moments you want to write about).

It’s 2am and honestly, I just want to sleep and think about how to pass my first-year exams before I can even think about what career I want.

If you know any companies, jobs, careers, internships or anything to do with science and writing let me know in the comments below – would be a massive help!!

Lots of Love

Nisha x

Hi everyone,

Hope you’re all well,

I think I’m overcoming this writer’s block and the flow of blogging is coming back to me, haha, so here a few things I do in the morning when I’m feeling down.

1. Drink water! (a lot of it)

Did you know dehydration can make you sleepy? Yes, not drinking enough water may be the reason why you’re yawning or sleepy in the mornings so I would definitely recommend drinking water before anything and lots of it.

I try and stick to drinking a pint of water with a slice of lemon every morning, this will help detox your body and since I’ve been doing this I’ve noticed problems with spots and pimples got a lot less problematic.

2. Apply hair oil and a face mask!

If I’m not feeling great on the inside I try my best to look good on the out because it makes me feel like I’m detoxing all of last night’s energy from today.  I tend to leave the face mask and hair oil on for a minimum of half an hour. The face mask I use is from Body Shop, (I did a review click here to read) and I apply almond oil in my hair, every now and then I do use coconut oil.

3. Listen to a mixtape!

The type of music I listen to in the morning determines my attitude in the morning.
I use Spotify to listen to mixtapes because if I find it refreshing to listen to someone else’s than my own. Here is a couple I like on Spotify…

Ro & Mui  Mixtape (I’ve been listening to this a lot).

TheAMwithAmy Mixtape

4. Shower

Wash away yesterday’s negative energy because today is a brand new day with new opportunities that need to be fulfilled.

5. Have breakfast

6. Positive Thoughts

Have a pep talk with yourself. I like to look in the mirror and tell myself:

“Nisha you got this – smile”

Whatever happened yesterday doesn’t mean today will be a repeat, no day is the same and you always have to remind your self that you’re better than yesterday, you’re strong and beautiful even when no else will and ignore the people that make you feel less than this.

If no one has told you today…

 “You’re strong and beautiful and you’re gonna do great”

I hope you have a lovely day,

Lots of love,
Nisha x

Establishing your imperfections as perfections is a step to self-love.

Hi everyone,

Hope you’re all well,

I thought I’d write about all my imperfections because more and more every day the world is being perceived (a majority of the time) through social media. A place full of illusions, from angles to lighting, to airbrushing, to filters and hashtags … the list goes on. So for a little dose of realism into your life, I’d thought I’d write about what I’m “insecure” about and what features I like about myself.

The Insecurities…

  1. My lips

(I naturally have a full bottom lip and a thin upper lip).

For as long as I know I have always felt uncomfortable with the shape of my lips. I remember specifically looking in the mirror at the age of 10 and pushing my top lip up to make it look fuller like the Bratz doll I had. I didn’t know “lip fillers” and “lip enhancement” existed at the time, I mean, I was 10 … so I thought; “okay, so I can’t have that shape, I have this shape it’s fine” as no one really pointed out my lips or made a comment on how my lips looked.

… fast forward to being 16, my friend told me she wished she has bigger lips and she tried over lining and gloss – basically anything to make her lips look bigger – again, the insecurity of lips resurfaced, as she mentioned how thin my top lip was but she reassured me that my lips were an “okay shape” since I naturally had a full bottom lip.

Now I’m 21, the era of The Kardashians, Instagram and Kylie Jenner Lips, every day I look in the mirror and can’t help but think “maybe 0.5ml dermal filler would help make my lips look more proportionate”.

I’m actually still contemplating about it, but at the same time, I don’t want to pay a ridiculous amount of money and give into the beauty standards society created.

2. I have white hair

On the top of my head, it’s quite prominent in this area, I grow strands of white hair. I don’t why but recently I have. I used to cut it and make it look short so all my black hair would cover it, but now I just let it grow. I have had many people mention it to me and yeah. I do feel self-conscious about it, but fuck it, I’m embracing my inner Rogue (from X-men).

I think it’s genetic or maybe it’s stress, I heard it happens if I drink too much tea and coffee (but apparently that’s a myth) I don’t know… I now grow white hair and no, I’m not gonna dye my hair black because of it, that requires too much effort and I really don’t want to damage my hair more than I already have.

3. I’m hella hairy.

I’m Indian, need I say more.

My likeable features…

  1. My legs.

God damn, I’m so grateful for those weekly swimming lessons when I was younger.

So naturally my torso is short, but my legs are long, giving the illusion I look tall until you come and stand next to me. I’m 5’3 and haven’t grown in 3 years. This is my height for life. I wish I was 5’6 or 5’7… but nope, I’m that average/short height.

I like how defined my muscles are on my legs. I have a line that runs down my outer thigh and if you grab them (after a good leg day session) they feel rock solid and not squishy. haha.

2. My eyebrows and my eyelashes.

Thank God I wake up every day with eyebrows on my face. I swear if eyes are the windows to the soul, then the eyebrows and the curtains and ugly curtains make a room look ugly. I do fill the tops on my eyebrows in to make them look sharper and more defined, but at least I don’t have to draw the shape on them on my face because that requires a different kind of effort and patience which does not exist within in me. I would rather go through the pain of threading.

I also have naturally long eyelashes so I don’t really need to apply falsies, curling them and applying mascara will do.

3. My smile

I used to have the worst set of teeth but braces helped me out! I just wish I got permanent retainers because my teeth easily move, plastic retainers didn’t really help much to keep my teeth in place – wear your retainers kids, otherwise, all that hard work goes down the drain!

So yeah, those are three of my likes and dislikes about myself, I’m pretty sure there are a lot more, but I thought 3 was a good number to stop with.

Thinking about it, for all my likeable features that I have listed, I’ve received compliments from people … so go and compliment people! Make them feel good about themselves!

I hope you enjoyed this and kept you a little more grounded and to remind you we’re all different and to embrace everything we have.

Lots of Love,
Nisha x

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I was on the phone with my best friend, Lizzie. She and I have been friends for over 8 years. We’ve been through shit together, we’ve cried together, laughed together, swore at each other, I love her with all my heart, she’s like my sister. If there is anyone in this world I could speak to with trust, without fear and boundaries best believe it’s her.

So basically she called me and she was venting about her boyfriend, they’ve been together for nearly 2 years and she was pouring out her feelings about how upset she’s been and confused. My girl was going through what I went through – realising boys ain’t worth shit.

“I put in so much effort and he doesn’t even put in half of what I put in. I did everything, I helped him, I made sure he okay, I made him food. He won’t come and visit me unless he’s able to see his mates… I don’t feel important. He tells me to go out and socialise and join stuff when I have so much work to do … ” 

I swear it was like listening to myself.

If it’s one thing I’ve realised about relationships – boys – ahh – boys are just not worth it.

I’m gonna write down what I said to her because I feel like every girl needs to know this.

“Boys are not a necessity. They are a luxury. They are like a dessert. They are optional. Something to indulge in, not to invest. Boys are a spec on the canvas of your life. I understand you wanna get married and have kids but he’ll come and find you and the moment will fit in nicely with your life. Don’t force it, don’t try and find it. Focus on you and sooner or later, a man will focus on you. For there to be balance in a relationship both parties must put in the same force, this requires effort. As soon as one side doesn’t put in the same amount of effort, the balance is lost and the relationship falls apart.

Leave the relationship as soon as the I love you’s sound like sorry’s”

Don’t burn yourself to keep someone warm ~

Hope you found this helpful,

Love,
Nisha x

I know I’ve been away from the keyboard for a while and I haven’t been posting – I’m so sorry – so much has been going on, I haven’t had time to write!

This past week has been so busy and next week is going to be no different! I’ve been in and out of Central London, I’ve been making most of the little time I have left before Uni takes over and the stress has been so real that my immune system is slowly failing me at the worst time.

Okay. Breathe.

1. I’m a KCL student!

I finally, finally, finaaaallly enrolled into Kings College London, which has been so surreal that I legit had to pinch myself while I was holding my ID card.

I swear I was so happy I felt like my heart was gonna come out my chest. I just wanted to laugh hysterically in Waterloo and jump up and down… I felt flutters in my stomach and in my chest! The relief I felt when I had my ID in my hands is probably the happiest moment I’ve had all summer. All those nights of studying till 4am, all the prayers, the tears – All. Fucking. Worth. It.

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2. I’m an Aunty!

I an aunt to a beautiful niece called Mia, she’s only a few weeks old and she’s so beautiful. Honestly, I feel so blessed to be a part of her life and I can’t wait till she grows up! Ahhh!

3. New job!

I have the opportunity to leave my old workplace for a better one! I’ll still be doing rep work which is great. I’ll only be working weekends which is even better so I can have my Friday’s back to myself! Woo! No more stupid conference calls at 9am – I can’t wait to leave, I’m gonna get trained next week and I’ll be starting my new job the same week.

4. Relationship …

I’ve managed to patch things up with my boyfriend, we’re still taking baby steps but it’s better than having no progression at all. We’ve gone on a few dates – the National Gallery and the London Aquarium. I loved the aquarium so much, my favourite exhibition was the Jellyfish one!

5. Youtube?

I may start posting videos on Youtube again, I stopped, then started blogging and photography. I don’t know, maybe I’ll vlog around Kings College? I made a video of my time at the aquarium, I didn’t post it on Youtube – but tell me what you think? Youtube or nahh – Maybe some software recommendations which won’t cause me to break my bank?

So yeah, this is why I’ve been away and I’ve been so ill because of these changes and I’ll hopefully write more!

I hope you liked this!

Love,
Nisha

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