When you’re in love, especially during the “honeymoon” phase, it’s difficult to identify a toxic relationship. For those who don’t know about the “honeymoon phase”, it consists of the late night calls, constant everyday good morning texts, monthsaries, life is so beautiful, problems don’t exist phase. Being in love is the worst and best feeling because it’s like you’re always on cloud nine and I say worst because most of the time you’ll dismiss the red flags and make excuses for your partner if you’re with someone toxic. Just for the record, no one is perfect, however, if these red flags keep popping up, ignore them at your own risk.
If you’re here not of curiosity, the chances are you already know you’re not in the right relationship.. but for reassurance, I’ll tell you all the red signs you should recognise.
1. Constant lies
Big or small. Lies are lies. When you find out your partner is continually lying to you, it undercuts a little bit of the relationship. The effect; minimal trust between the two of you, leading you to do things you wouldn’t usually do; for instance checking their messages, social media accounts and tracking their location because the lack of trust and the knowledge of knowing they have lied to you in the past is going to make you paranoid.
2. Irresponsible and immature
Some people can’t master the necessary life skills. If he or she has trouble holding on to a job, is consistently late, or weak in managing their finances and their health. These people take up a lot of time and energy and therefore are as unreliable and unstable to have as future partners.
3. Feeling Drained
I’ve said this multiple times – relationships require work and one-sided relationships never run smoothly. If you’re consistently stressed out and emotionally and mentally drained, it’s time to make a change.
4. Lack of communication
One of the main pillars of having a long-lasting and healthy relationship is good communication. Thus, if there is a lack of communication between you and your partner, there is going to be a lot of arguments, tension and distance between the two of you.
5. Feeling insecure in the relationship
Feeling insecure is a result of not knowing where you stand with your partner. A healthy relationship consists of building a connection by having shared experiences with each other. However, if your partner is putting in little effort and your continually seeking reassurance, which is only momentarily, this leads to you working double time on your relationship, and again, leaving you emotionally and mentally drained.
6. The failure of past relationships is never their fault
These relationships don’t have to be intimate, they can be parental relationships and friendships. If your partner is unable to identify why their past relationships haven’t worked and they blame the other party. The chances of your relationship going down the same path are very likely.
7. Lack of effort
If he or she cannot do the bare minimum; of sending you a text saying when they’ll be home or checking up you, even on a grey day or at least asking you on a date, next week on a Friday night, unfortunately, the lack of effort is equal to the lack of care they have for you.
8. Commitment issues
If your partner has eyes on someone else, they are not committed to you. Furthermore, if they broke up (or worse cheated) on their ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend for you, the chances of them leaving you for someone else is very high because karma is a bitch.
9. Abusive behaviour
Abusive behaviour doesn’t have to physical it can be emotional and psychological. Any form of abuse, however mild is still abuse. The signs of damage include your partner belittling you, making you feel unworthy, controlling your life, taking away any personal space, trapped and of course physically hurting you, is not only a red flag but a colossal banner saying you should get out the relationship and never look back!
Relationships are meaningful and should help you flourish as a person. A toxic relationship can cost you a dear amount of time and drain so much energy from you that you could be putting into someone worth your time.
Listen to your heart; you’ll love again, give yourself time to heal and remember never to look back.
Hope you found this to be helpful,