I don’t know what I want.

When I was younger I wanted to be a scientist, little did I know the amount of time and effort it would take. Growing up my career choices changed (frequently).. it went from a 9-5 office worker to a doctor, housewife, to a journalist to even considering a career in acting. I didn’t know and I still don’t know what I want to do. 

Th problem with me is that I don’t want a job, I want a career. Money has never been my motive, I just want to wake up every day and look forward to work in an environment where I’m happy. I wish money was my motive but it’s not, I’d rather have a job that paid me little money than have a job I hated but paid a lot of money.

All I know is that I like writing, hence why I have this blog, it’s sort of my outlet to write. I’ve tried journaling but it’s not really natural to me because when I think of journaling I think of pouring my personal feelings on to a page, which I don’t want to do. I don’t want to remember yesterday’s monotone feelings. I want to hold on to the moments of happiness and remember the “I fucking hate my life” moments.

The “I fucking hate my life’ moments are important because they are the pivotal points in life. Those moments force you to grow and persevere. So don’t neglect the “I hate my fucking life” moments – they’re important (they are probably the moments you want to write about).

It’s 2am and honestly, I just want to sleep and think about how to pass my first-year exams before I can even think about what career I want.

If you know any companies, jobs, careers, internships or anything to do with science and writing let me know in the comments below – would be a massive help!!

Lots of Love

Nisha x

One thought on “I don’t know what I want.

  1. This is too familiar with me. I do sometimes get the sense I am lost, but then again I feel like it is where I need to be. I wish I could sometimes just get to the end of the book that tells me where and what exactly I want; but even I know that wouldn’t be much fun.