This week has been a really rough week for me. I’m trying to figure out what I’m feeling and I’m trying to compose my crazy eccentric emotions to a more tranquil rhythm. There are a number of reasons for why I’m feeling like this some are more obvious than others but even through these crazy times, I’ve come to appreciate my time with my family, my friends and most of all … with myself.
I’ve forgotten what it’s like to actually put myself first for once to do what I want to do without thinking about other people. I don’t need to explain why I do certain things I just do them because I want to. If it doesn’t involve you in any shape or form, don’t pop up to me asking “why did I do this?” or “why did I do that?” – Because I fucking wanted to! Gosh! You know what? I don’t want to have a phone call with you because there’s nothing to fucking talk about, like, ffs, mind your own fucking business.
I don’t like breaking relationships of any kind. I like to be civil with people, but if you notice changes in me that may have nothing to do with you, it’s all me. I just act the way I want, I have no external influences. Sometimes I just go rogue. That’s just how I am. I’m selectively social with people and I have tried being a social butterfly but I don’t have enough friends to be one because again, I’m picky with who I hang out with purely because 97.8% of the time I may find people annoying because they either can’t keep a conversation, love to gossip, attract or create drama. Meh. Sorry, not sorry. I have a low tolerance for bullshit.
So no, I’m not gonna call you, no I’m not gonna write out a few paragraphs and no I’m not gonna wait up. Right now. I’m gonna sleep because I’m tired and because I want to fucking sleep.