Empty

I don’t know how to express my feelings. 

How do I explain the feeling of “emptiness”? Why am I feeling empty? It’s as if something inside of my chest is hollow and I feel sad? Does the term sad describe this foreign feeling? I think not. 

How do I explain this? I’m confused. I’m pushing myself away to see if it’s certain people making me feel this way – nope. One by one, I’m mentally ticking off people inside my head. Nope, not him, not her … 

I’ve recently been waking up every morning and I feel disoriented. It’s as if I should be doing something, but I’m not. I have nothing to do. It’s summer. Week after week, it’s been repetitive. 

I go to the gym, it’s an amazing form of stress relief and to be honest, I’d rather think about the pain I’m putting myself through physically, instead of mentally bruising myself with these never-ending negative thoughts. 

I smile at my reflection – fake it till you make it. 

I call him up at 1 am … I cry at 2 am and try to fall asleep at 3 am. I’m pushing away a person that is in love with me. I’m an idiot. 

I’m not depressed. I like to believe I’m not. 

I have no idea what’s wrong with me, I’m crying about how I, as a person, am falling apart. I can’t hold myself together. There are too many influences, memories and factors that ruin my small delicate bubble of happiness. 

What am I doing?

What am I gonna do? 

I’m confused.

Someone help me. 

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Another personal excerpt.

Love,
Nisha x

21 thoughts on “Empty

  1. I think you are feeling this way because you need to do something that challenges you. If it is changing your job, changing your lifestyle or simply doing something new. Identify what is there to fix, what makes that ‘drop’ from happiness and work on it. I have been through this and it takes time to satisfy your hunger for perhaps reaching higher goals. If you feel that nothing is enough for you, then you are ready to take on something out of your norm routine. Break that routine too, and make some changes. Hope this helps 🙂 xx tc of yourself!

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    1. Yeah, that’s probably it, I took up blogging because I wanted something new to do & I felt great doing it and I still do, but rn I have no clue where this “drop” came from.. ahhh

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      1. It is usually something you always wanted to do but kept putting it off for some reason or another. Blogging would have been on the list… Anything that has been on your list that you never got to ticking off? 🙂 Take your time..it will come to you eventually 😉

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      2. Or perhaps just longer to succeed in doing them. I always wanted to ride a motorcycle, I am saving up to get one. It will take long to make it come true but working on it is a start 🙂 yes sometimes things are harder to accomplish than others, but not impossible. Just a little will power and once you start, you know you will get to it someday 🙂 same with traveling… I got some places off the bucket list.. so why not others? Hehe if you get what I mean 🙂

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      3. ahh! I wanna travel so bad! I really wanted to go to Italy this summer – but everyone bailed! I was so sad! 😦 Honestly, travelling is all I wanna do! I love experiencing new places and cultures! ahhh!

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      4. Oh that’s not impossible! Try find a travel buddy, someone will definitely team up with you! Italy is easy to get around and voilà! Work on it, you will see how easy it is to plan things. Actually start planning your trip, and it will all fall into place! Aaaand ciao bella Italia 😉

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  2. Girl! I ve been there I can totally relate to this.firstly challenges are great.secondly find yourself again by doing what you love it could be dancing singing writing crafting decoration or your garden. Thirdly I think you feel empty and stuck and lost in your own skin right now and it is OK to have some downs don’t beat yourself up too much.forth Italy is your dream girl you do not need to travel you can invite Italy at home and all the exotics at home by coocking an Italian meal watching some Italian movies decorate your space in an Italian vibe have an Italian party, diy things with the italian style make an italian nailart and pamper night routine read romances well you get the idea^^italy will be in your place ;).What’s more, I have plenty of summer articles which can be really helpful 😉 it is just an emotion it is temporary don’t worry! If you want to talk I can give you my email if you want 🙂
    huge hugs
    Mary jokes 😉

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  3. I know how that feel like. A parasite growing in the center of your chest, somewhere behind your heart, taking every ounce of warmth and light and happiness and consuming it until there’s nothing left. It feels like exhaustion, like there’s no reason to fight, no reason to take another breath, no reason to try to survive. But emptiness also feels like freedom. Because it doesn’t just take the good, it takes the bad, too–the anger, the bitterness, the pain–and when it’s done, it leaves you with just you. A cold, shell-like echo of yourself, but still you.

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