Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behaviour among school aged children that involve a real or perceived power imbalance. The behaviour is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.
Primary school was the worst 3 years of my life. Every day I would fear to go into school because I didn’t want to “upset” the other girls who I thought were my “friends”. I didn’t know if I was being bullied, or it was all in my head.
If I were to sum it up bluntly, they belittled me, made me feel alone, destroyed my confidence and isolated me from being able to make other friends. Children, especially girls, can be nasty, which is odd because I always wondered who taught them to be like that.
Back then I wasn’t like the majority of girls, I loved Doctor WHO, I dressed like a boy, I wore the same trainers for the whole year, I was into climbing trees and benches – I was basically a tom boy. (funny how things have changed) However, my “friends” were into Bratz, bras and boys. So odd. We didn’t even have boobs back then.
I could go into detail of how three girls made my life miserable, but I’d rather not relive it. However, it’s been literally a decade since I’ve left that hell hole (primary school), yet to this day, the effects of their bullying and belittling affect me to this day.
Words have more harm than punches. You can heal from a bruise, but how do you heal your brain?
I feel anxious meeting new people not because I’m afraid of them, but because I’m afraid they may find me “annoying” or may talk behind my back and laugh at me. I feel like everyone I meet will be like those three girls. I can’t be myself. Very few people know this and I’m comfortable to be with, but the rest – I try my best to keep some distance between us.
I keep my social media accounts on private or I block them purely because I don’t want them to know what I’m up to, I don’t want those girls to come back, they have cyber bullied me before, so I’m not going to give them the opportunity to do it again (ahh, the days of Piczo).
I’m not sure what to write … I feel down when ever I think back to those days.
All I can say is, things will get better, a bad day only lasts 24 hours, a school day lasts 8 hours, a bad year only lasts for 365 days. Nothing bad, or good for a matter of fact can last infinitely.
I’m not saying I’m perfectly okay now. I will say, I have got better. I am happier, I have found friends that love and appreciate me. If you’re being bullied – you will too.
There is hope. Do not suffer in silence, the only reason your bullies don’t want you to speak out is that they are afraid of the consequences because THEY KNOW what they’re doing is wrong.
I hope you find happiness and peace within yourself,